How shall I describe myself---as things I've done, as things I am doing, as things I will do, or as things I want to do? What do I mean by what I do---the precise things I've spent time on, the overarching themes, or as something else entirely? Does this exclude things I'm interested in, as 'doing' only includes the expression of those interests?
Furthermore, what do I need to tell you?, or: what do you need to know? What context do you need now, and what can you gain by reading my website? Should this page be current, or should it reflect me over time? This website has existed, in various forms, since 2022, and I've a few more years of existence before that which also inform the contents of this site.
To be current: I'm both young enough and old enough to have recently dropped out from college. I work full-time as a line cook; I struggle with my self-inflicted hours and am trying to be better about separating work from life. I like to spend my free time on reading and writing. What I read has evolved over time. When reading fiction, I gravitate towards fantasy, academic settings, horror, character studies, the 1800s-early 1900s, folklore, houses, and satire. My favorite authors include Mark Haber, Kurt Vonnegut, Kathe Koja, Kate Quinn, and Neil Gaiman. House of Leaves is a contender for my favorite book. When I'm reading fanfiction, I'm prone to college AUs, but can enjoy coffeeshop AUs. I also love series-length retellings---The Arithmancer is one of my favorite works of fanfiction, but is closely followed by Madam Umbridge Home for Wayward Girls. Despite listing works inspired by Harry Potter, I tend to seek out fanworks for The Magnus Archives, Limbus Company, Gravity Falls, and The Untamed.
My other hobbies include writing, cooking, and tarot. I enjoy making curry pastes and tend to dabble in Thai cooking. Tarot, to me, is a tool for self-reflection. I don't use it for divinatory or magical purposes. It can also be a writing tool; what better way to find a writing prompt than to pick a card from a deck?
Hah. I make myself and my life seem straightforward. I'm feeling lost and struggling to get by. Work exhausts me. I exhaust myself. I try to do things, but I'm prone to laying in bed in an attempt to recover from fatigue. My life feels unsustainable. Who knows how all the other adults do it.
My diary is the main feature of this website. I'm trying to write more coherent things (articles is too formal), which can be found here. A concise overview of my current aims can be found here. In short, I am prone to fits of melancholy and daydreaming, and am trying to erect a barrier between myself and them. Whether or not I can succeed remains to be seen.
Some notes on this website:
Some thoughts can only be viewed if you hover on them. Some text is in Essays 1743. The blue-speckled background, and the images on the homepage (except for th screenshot of a webcomic), was created using Canva. Certain pages include backgrounds created using other websites; the sources for these backgrounds appear in each page's footer.
I can be reached via email at defenestrating-squirrels@protonmail.com. I try to respond in a timely manner, but life enjoys getting in the way. My Your World of Text is like an anonymous guestbook. Feel free to write things there.
That's all for now.